A Warning to Hummer Owners

Yesterday’s ride to work was wonderful. There was absolutely no wind, which was a glorious change from the last several weeks of these punishing winter headwinds. The weather was relatively mild, traffic was relatively light and for whatever reason, my legs just felt great the whole time. As I was nearing the end of my ride, I was coasting downhill in a left turn lane. I was riding with my left arm stretched and pointed out to signal my intention to turn. I then see a bright yellow late model Hummer H2 coming up the same hill in the other direction. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this 8500+ pound monstrosity, it is the ultimate gasshole vehicle. Because of it’s gross weight the US government does not require it to meet federal fuel efficiency regulations. Hummer isn't even required to publish its fuel economy (owners indicate that they get somewhere around 8-10 mpg for normal use) and in an average year an H2 will produce around 3.4 metric tons of carbon emissions (about twice that of the Chevy Malibu.) So to Environmentalist who rides his bike year round, this car is about equivalent to Hitler. On a normal day I would just glare at an H2 as it passed me by, but this ride was different. I don’t know if the quality of the ride just gave me a little bit of overconfidence, or if all of my pent up Hummer hate needed to leak out a little bit, but as the Hummer was approaching, with my arm already outstretched I turned my hand down into an obvious and very noticeable “thumbs down” and shook my head at the guy driving…

Ok, so my great act of defiance towards the Hummer was a little anticlimactic. But the guy saw me give him the “thumbs down” and a nasty stare, his expression was pretty funny. He has the kind of bewildered look of a guy who just realized that he had been dissed but was to late to do anything about it. Hopefully it made him at least wonder why this crazy looking guy on a bicycle didn't like his car, and it made me feel like I had just punched a lunchroom bully in the nose, and I finished my ride smiling. Hummer owners everywhere beware, if I see you coming, I might just be inclined to give you a thumbs down as well…